I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
