that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
