Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he puts the penis in happiness.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
