Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
