i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
