I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
