I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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