I hate all girls vehemently.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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