dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
