I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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