he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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