we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
