Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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