i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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