Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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