you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
