I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize