I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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