i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
birth control should be required to get into college
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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