how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I could fuck to npr.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
