Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
