if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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