the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
