you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
