Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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