I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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