im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
