and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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