it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
