i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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