i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
