What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
