..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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