So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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