he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
