very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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