im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
