we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
