his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
