Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
