Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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