these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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