like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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