He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
