Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
