Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
