I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Boobs speak an international language.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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