he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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