I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
