But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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